Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
i've created a new STD.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
