just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
