ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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