Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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