I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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