I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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