im having a threesome with these popsicles
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
