Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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