he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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