I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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