the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
