I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Text me some of your sweat
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize