Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
