so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Randomize
