"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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