I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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