Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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