I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
