can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
