if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
