i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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