How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I need moral support for this bender
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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