if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
