shes about as inviting as chlamydia
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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