all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
