I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
you made out with another girl for some wings
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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