HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
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