I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
cat food counts as protein by the way
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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