I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
My dad is sitting where you rode me
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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