Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
