Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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