Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize