Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
