the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
