Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
