I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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