Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
