So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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