I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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