Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
