I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
