what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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