Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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