Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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