I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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