She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
