I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
