We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry my hands just texted you
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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