just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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