I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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