The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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