I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize