I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Terrible idea I love it
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
