I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
