How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
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