Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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